Praying for a Miracle

My son Will has lived with neurological and mental illness since he was a young boy. He was first diagnosed with ADHD, followed quickly by Tourette Syndrome and OCD. Over time, his Tourette’s faded into the background, but severe OCD, anxiety, and Bipolar Disorder took hold. The most devastating part of his illness has been his anosognosia — his inability to recognize that he is sick.

Will received counseling from the time he was five years old. When he was young, I took him to specialists at Hershey Medical Center and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, doing everything I could to find the right care. I even gave up my career as a teacher so I could be home with him and manage his needs, substituting only when I felt it was possible.

Throughout childhood he was often heavily medicated, which left him exhausted and depressed. When he graduated high school and turned 18, he refused medication. That is when the nightmare truly began.

I attempted to establish guardianship so I could help ensure he stayed in treatment, but the doctor he was seeing refused to sign off. My ex-husband initially agreed to serve as guardian but later backed out. I knew Will would fight the process, but without guardianship, there was no consistent way to help him stay safe or stable.

Without treatment, his symptoms worsened. Our home life became chaotic and frightening. In the depths of his illness, he assaulted me — his own mother. After the second assault, he was jailed. He spent seven months in Lehigh County Jail following that incident.

His instability continued. He reacted aggressively to men he perceived as threats and developed an unhealthy fixation on a young woman, eventually stalking her on social media. He was taken back into custody, spent another year in county jail, and was ultimately sentenced to two and a half years in Pennsylvania state prison.

Despite our family’s repeated pleas and efforts to explain his severe mental illness, the court refused to meaningfully acknowledge it as a factor. I even hired attorneys to try to secure psychiatric help for Will while he was in the criminal justice system, but to no avail. He was denied parole and served his time.

When he was finally released in 2021, he was not rehabilitated — he was broken.
Since then, I have done everything I can think of to help him. Yet meaningful, consistent support has remained out of reach. Like so many others with untreated severe mental illness, he has turned to drugs and alcohol to try to quiet his symptoms. He has cycled through countless treatment facilities, but stability has remained elusive. His life continues to be painfully difficult, unfair, and tragic.

Will is now 36 years old. He is bright, personable, and fun. He loves animals and has a deeply sensitive soul. His needs are great — made even greater by the trauma and disruption of incarceration.
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Not a day goes by that I don’t pray for a miracle.​

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Will’s story shows what happens when severe mental illness is not treated early, consistently, and effectively. Without the right medical care and legal tools to keep him engaged in treatment, Will cycled through crisis, incarceration, and instability instead of receiving the rehabilitation he needed.

The cost of this neglect is not only measured in suffering — it is measurable in dollars. Will spent roughly 19 months in county jail and two and a half years in state prison, at an estimated taxpayer cost of $180,000 to $200,000 for incarceration alone. This does not include legal fees, repeated treatment attempts, lost income, his mother’s sacrificed teaching career, or the long-term financial and emotional burden placed on the family.
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When treatment systems fail, families pay. Communities pay. Taxpayers pay. Most of all, individuals like Will pay with years of their lives.

But with early, coordinated, and sustained treatment — including care that accounts for anosognosia — outcomes can be very different. Lives can stabilize, families can remain intact, and people with severe mental illness can move forward with dignity and purpose.

Treatment saves. Neglect costs.